Three Stages of Our 20-Something “Adult” Lives

I believe there are three stages to our 20’s. While I use one’s approach to bringing, sharing, or supplying drinks at an organized shindig as my benchmarks, I think these years represent pretty distinct points in our 20’s as we go through them.

The first is the “BYOB stage” and this happens in the last couple of years of college when you’re all finally old enough to drink, but every invite comes complete with an addendum to “BYOB.”

(sorry for the tacky MySpace label, but when I image-searched “BYOB” this is the best I could find…)

These are the years when we all DID bring our own – our own beer, bottle, vodka, boxed wine, etc. And we drank our own. We didn’t so much think of sharing with each other since money was scarce and scoring what you could had to go a long way. So you BYO, drank your own, and left with whatever remained of your own.

The second stage of our 20-somethings is when BYOB turns into “bring something to share!”. You’re still supplying your own beverages, but no one’s getting stingy or upset when someone asks to try someone else’s beer, wine or other imbibe. Just last weekend, I met a new friend of a friend. I’d brought my newfound Skinny Dips (the new New Belgian), and he asked if he could try one. Wanting to share the goodness of a delish new beer find, I was more than happy to share. And tonight, when I was over the margs and wanted a beer, I asked Sean if I could have one of the Guinness (Guinni?) that he brought, and he responded, “Drink ‘em up!”

Stage three – this is the one such as what occurred tonight. The host/hostess actually ask the guests NOT to bring anything, informing them that they’ll be supplying the food, drinks, games, etc. They’re both over the hump of the 2-5, are married, own their house, and had all of us over last night to celebrate the new Mrs. Schaffer’s birthday. Those of us in Stage 2 brought our own anyway, freely sharing to anyone in need or want.

It’s easy to see where I fall in this timeline. I’m still in stage two – the sharing-is-caring stage. When we host at our place, I do what I can to supply something. Last time – for Grand Ol’ Day – it was the Bloody Mary fixings. Mostly, it’s wine. But I still ask folks to bring something because this single-income, I’m-still-renting-a-cheap-place-in-the-city budget does not allow me to supply potables for more than a few people at a time.

I think it’s also easy to see what other “growing up” events fall into the thirds of our 20’s. The renting a crappy apartment, to renting a nicer apartment, to owning a condo or townhome, to owning a house with a yard. From dating all over the place, to significant relationships, to engagements, to marriage. From entry-level, not-sure-if-this-is-REALLY-my-career kind of jobs to a place and a direction you can really see yourself going (I’m still waiting for that stage to fall into place… ).

Either way, half-way through, I like my 20’s.